Imagine being a 54 year-old, single, gay, white, male.  Accepting the reality of growing old, alone and actually quite content.  Having done the bar scene and snail-mail ads periodically in the past.  I never had much faith in "finding a suitable partner" on the internet.  With such a diverse community these days, it actually adds to the complications of finding and  being in  a meaningful and successful long term relationship.           It was quite by accident that I was browsing through new members at a website where I have had a personal profile for many years.  I had no intention of dating this guy.  I live in Ohio. He was listed in Colorado.  His photo was very attractive and erotic which is quite alllowed on the website.  Have you ever just melted inside when you saw a nearly unbelieveably good-looking person?  I thought I was dreaming.  The perfect man.  The one you know that you have always envisioned.  Of course, no one is perfect any way you look at  it. It is mostly that fantasy, fairy tale, idea of it I guess. The ideal erotic mate.  So I went on to read his profile.    Sort of unusual to find a younger man looking for a LTR,  (Loving,Tender,Relationship) as a lot of gay men are absolutely filthy beasts just wanting to hook-up for sex.  So I sent him a little note, not really expecting a response but to encourage this young man.  I told him that he was very good looking and seemed like a very nice guy. That he would have no problem getting responses and I wished him well.  I thought that would be the end of it.  He is 25yo.  very cute, nice body well you get the idea.                         About a week later I got an email from him sent through the same site.  After several short notes back and forth, He sent a very well-written letter.  Explaining what he wanted in a relationship and some things about himself.  All along he was very sweet and endearing.  In it he explained that there was some confusion about where he was now.  He was living back in England.  His partner of six years had died while  they lived in Colorado.  He could only be reminded of his life with him in that house.  He would (imagine)seeing him every day.  He was mad (angry) at him and this just got worse every day.  He goes to the doctor and the doctor advised him to leave the house if this were to continue getting worse.   This is why he went back to England where I assume he is from originally.  His Mother had passed away also but he never said when this happened.  She left a mortgage on the family home along with a lot of debts.   He had told me at the start that he went to culinary school and became a chef.  I don't think he worked a day in his life.                Now he was running out of money and the banks were going to foreclose.  We spent time emailing back and forth, cards and letters and most days I would catch him getting online and we would talk using  the IM.       He shared his feelings after a couple months of this cyber dating.  I was quite taken with him myself.   He realized I didn't have any money from my letters as I have been working on my SSDI case for three years now and my case is being reconsidered.                            He said maybe we could help each other and would I be willing to help him.   I assured him I would if I could.    At this time I do not have any bank accounts.  He asked me then if I could open one.   This starts to get scary from here on out.   I could sense what was coming and I wanted to know where this was going so I agreed to open an account. (Dont worry, I didn't do that) Then I would be able to have deposits made from his inheritance here into my account.  With that I could cash it and send it to him cash Western Union.  He would pay the bills, get on a plane because he already had an IR3 visa, practically a green card.  Then while on his way over he would have sent another amount of money so that I could look for an apartmment and pay some debts of my own.  I reviewed the plan in my head trying to think what to say and I put him off for a day.                  Next day I had some questions for him but he was very vague and was giving shortest answers possible.   Why couldn't he go to his bank and have them send it directly?  Oh, he tried that but he didn't have the fees for the transfer and money to open the account.  Also the banks wouldn't honor any kind of loans or advances as long as he had these debts and mortgage orverdue.   They also wouldn't deduct it from the amount in the transaction.                     The next letter I explain why I couldn't open an account or raise any money to help him out.      Oh, he still loved me much much more than life.   Our next IM the following day, he became very short with me because I confronted him about this looking bad and feels even worse.  That it looks like he is tryng to run a scam.  A few more statements  he was threatening to not talk anymore.  "Stop saying these things".    He finished by saying that he was mad and sad about my accusations and said ""bye".                                        Then two days went by.  His last email was a one-liner saying,"just because I am not talking to you does not mean (I) am (a) liar.  I am just trying to figure out of my head what I can do to get things done and cant get help from anyone".      This is pretty much the end.      This all made me crazy.  I was trying to talk to him online but to no avail he would avoid my IM and emails and had shut me out.   I let a few days go by then eventually caught him coming online when I sat down at the computer.   I said that I agreed with him that we should just break this off clean.   Also, asked him if this meant we were free?  free???????? he asks.  "yes", I said. So we are both free to pursue other people.  He replies "lol" and then a long silence. "What is funny?" I asked.  An even longer silence so I said "Bye".   and disconnected IM.     Isn't that a good story?    I  was devastated and a wreck for about a week.                   Some details about him:  I don't know what was true about his stories, maybe nothing or very little.  After he saw that things were hopeless and he felt that I had let him down, he lost interest.  What is really tough about this is that I was still victimized even though I didn't completelty participate in his scheme.   He was not successful.  I have found at least eight different profiles  with variations on 8 different gay dating sites.  A couple have been removed but not on my account.  I think either he had them removed or the webmasters were getting complaints from other members.    He gave me a bogus phone number and never gave me his address.  I am not sure if he is in London Inner City or where he lives.  The city code for London is 0702.   He gave me 0207.   Internet username: livinsub .  (You can run it through various search engines and find lots of tracks on him, read his profiles and see what he looks like from his photos).           His names are: Peterson, Peterson Naman, Peterson Naman Aguilar, Peterson Grist (on Yahoo),   emails at hotmail or yahoo.com   both.    petersoncafe@  

Submitted by Cyber Slueth         Cyberdefender@scammed.us